We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
