dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
