you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
