Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Randomize
