A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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