I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize