How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
