Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Can Purell be used as lube?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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