Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
