He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
