brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I wanna passion pit in your ass
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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