How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
