I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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