Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
