I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
