You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize