JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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