East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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