Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
