Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
