he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize