I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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