So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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