I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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