I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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