i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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