Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
