break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
