A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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