she was so not down for the gang bang
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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