tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
