i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
