i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
