time to smoke my breakfast
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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