you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
