I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
