I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
