When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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