tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
this hospital has no fireball
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
