If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
