I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
