It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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