Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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