If that was your dad, he is hot
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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