We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
