So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize