Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
