Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
