Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
