from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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