redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
