Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
