yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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