There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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