you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
