She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I need to align my fucking chakras
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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