I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
