Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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