life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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