writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
