Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
