if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
