Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
