It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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