Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
