home. puking in laundry basket.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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