That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
