Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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