need another drink. this is the easiest way
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
