I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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