This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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