there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
