well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Randomize
