New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
