Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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