Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
